birthday blog

At the time of writing this first sentence, it was my birthday.

I am 31 years old, and today I will be starting off my day with breakfast at a delicious cafe in Chico: Morning Thunder. I have already decided that I want to order the biscuits and gravy...

I've picked my outfit for the day, had my nice long cry about whether or not my existence is appreciated (lol) and I've wrapped my hair tightly around my kitsch heatless curler. I will wear a pink racer back crop tank that I embellished with my Cricut machine, with a shrug, a veggie leather blazer, and a black pencil skirt.

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I decided my existence is definitely appreciated after my loving boyfriend listened to my somewhat superficial whines, my best friend texted me "almost birthday!!" and then called me to talk, and then my sister texted me to make plans for tomorrow.

This year, my birthday ended up being nothing to cry about, though I still did, because I'm dramatic lol. In the morning, my sister took me, my boyfriend, and her boyfriend out for breakfast at one of best cafes in Chico! I ordered the biscuits and gravy + hash browns, but instead of the big sausage patty on top, I got crispy bacon (Shelby's idea...she knows me too well). There was a little blurb on the menu that said "we dare you to finish this plate!" and well, I finished it...and they all told me I should ask if I won something. I did not ask, lol.

Andrew made me a huge batch of Red Velvet cupcakes and we both laughed at how they are literally full of Red 40, before we proceeded to each eat like five. We covered them in cream cheese frosting. We spent the whole night laughing and having so much fun together, as we always do. We continued to eat everything in sight and I played every song that I love by Charli XCX and Taylor Swift. I built a restaurant on the Sims called "Gina's Crazy" with all different tables and chairs, and I wondered what it would be like to open a place like that in real life. I wore cozy shape wear and organized my craft area until it was clean and inspiring. I did so much that I started to forget everything I'd done.

And then the days continued to happen, as they always do. Time passed by quick and I started to feel blue. I grow attached to my free time, I often joke that weekends make me into a monster, and today is my 6th day of vacation. Naturally, I am not looking forward to facing reality, but I know that the discomfort I feel when thinking about returning to my normal routine is amplified by my anxiety, and something I've learned about anxiety is that it's just going to be there if it wants to be. I can handle my feelings. I can look at what's bothering me and think "well, that's just the way it is" and move onto the next feeling. Do I always remember this? Haha no of course not. Earlier today I was just wallowing in my self pity, but this wiser, midnight version of me knows things.

I have two days left of my vacation. Tomorrow my amazing Mom is taking me out to lunch to celebrate my birthday, and the next day I am going to spend cleaning, organizing, doing laundry and getting ready for my return to society. I hope you enjoyed this obnoxiously long update about what's been going on in my life over the course of my amazing week long vacation from responsibility :)

Enjoy these pictures of me from today, posing with my newest creation (and without it..) + the red velvet cupcakes I am still devouring. The background is a photo of the magical green hills along the feather river- something we passed by today on our walk.

It's been really amazing having time and energy to do so much, this week. Happy birthday to me!