12/12

I'm watching Twin Peaks with Andrew tonight, specifically The Return, and it's the very last episode. Laura just screamed "I love you James!!!!" into Jame's ear, and wandered off into the forest.

For the last two days, I've been off work and I managed to make not one, not two, but THREE appointments that I have been putting off for months, possibly even years...

I've set myself a deadline for my EP, Strawberry (January 1st), and that is something I've been planning/working on for years. The music on this EP is not like anything I've ever released, and I can't wait for the world to experience the songs and beats I wrote and produced myself! It's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember to make an album, and its finally almost done, and I literally couldn't be more excited. The sounds on this album are derivitave of the emotions I felt during the darkest times of my life. Odes to my perspective on specifics, and things...silly rhymes and what I'd like to describe as poppy beats with sparkling, sometimes 90s technopop or vampirish aesthetic- at least in my opinion.

I also finally have finished creating, collaging, and scanning every page for my book, the Poetic Diary of Gina Castro, and am now in the process of editing for publishing. I am looking into options for printing, and fund raising with my art sales for that, in the meantime.

For the last two days, I was home and quite literally living my best life. I tried to stay productive. To keep you in the loop, I have been making a digital collage a day of some of my favorite parts of the day. A new goal of mine is to find ways to not dwell on my dayjob during the time I am lucky enough to be free of it. I tend to focus too much on the feelings of dread, when they arise, and I would be better off trying a new practice of just "caring less" about things that are not my primary concern. Right now, my concern is my happiness, and I think that's the way it should be.

Developing and making time for self care routines is important, but for me it's almost hard. Here are the ones I am developing for myself (some, I struggle to complete):

1. This one is not hard for me, its a necessity!

2. Take my breaks at work- sometimes I am bad and I quietly work through my tens, but not anymore! I will take my breaks and sit and relax. Maybe even bring a book!

3. Skin care (morning AND night). This one is hard for me to remember. It probably shouldn't be, but it is. I will make time by creating a ritual around the primping of my face/hair. Cleansing, moisturizing, plucking, brushing my teeth and flossing (ya, flossing...), wrapping my hair in my heatless curlers, etc. Working/living a spontaneous schedule will make the timing of this tricky. I try to add everything into the calendar on my phone for each day of the week, like a planner, so that I can get notifications on my watch and remember.

4. Evening teatime with decaf sleepy teas! This is just such a nice thing to do. I have begun to set up my tea cup by my tea station in my kitchen, and ensure that it looks cute, warm and inviting, always.

5. Drinking lots of iced water and sometimes adding lemon.

6. Ensuring you have a clean pillowcase, bonus points if its silk. There is just nothing better than a cool pillow <3

7. Tarot Readings. Digging deeper into meanings, curiosities and insight. A way to reflect.

8. Writing something every day.

I couldn't end my weekend without seeing the sparkly water. I drove us out to the afterbay and we walked through swarms of tiny flying bugs to get to the edge of the water, just before sunset.

The sun was a big ball of orange I stared at for way too long, and it eventually dipped into the water, as I drove us away in my blue Sonata. Today was lovely. I hope yours was, too.